On 4/23/2008 that night I called a hotline to help me get through a bad time. As we talk I got a call from my family I took the call and said I would call the hotline back next my friend Robby called and he got me  Calmed down. I was so tired from crying I just wanted to go to sleep, so I took my medications, as it was prescribe to me. Plus my sleeping pill Amebam. Then I fell in to a deep sleep in my bed still dressed.  Near did I know what was about to happen to me! The hotline called the State police to do a welfare check on me. I did not wake up to the knocks on my door. However I did wake up to the sound of someone braking down my front door.  I was really out of it at the time. I grabbed a pool stick I keep by my bed.  Then as I herd yelling. I reached under my bed and pulled out a 9mm gun that was my dad’s gun and (it was not loaded) I jumped up and ran to my bathroom hid by the shower! I could here someone yelling and then saw flashlights coming down the steps at me. I was terrified! I was shaking so bad!

I did not know what was going on! Then a light shined in on me.

Next I heard someone yell GUN!!! And as they ran out the door one yelled what the F--- is wrong with you!! Were here to help you!! I swear if you come up the steps I will F---- shoot you my self!!!  I called the State police and I was told it was the police out side my home. I talk on the phone to a lady at the State police barracks and said I had no intention of hurting any one they scared me. The person on the phone told me I scared them also, she said to me to put the gun down and to just come out. 

At this time I just felt it was too much for me. I could not go out there. I put the clip in the gun and told her I was going to kill myself that when they heard the shot then they could come get my body. She did a good job keeping me on the phone. But still I wanted to die. I told her to call the corner because it was over,  and I just do not have the strength to fight it. The lady on the phone was good expectedly as out of it as I was. She pulled info from me, plus kept me talking she then got my x boyfriend Robby Tylor to talk to me. Then it made it even harder to die. I told Robby I would come out because he said he would be right there and no one would hurt me. I told him I was coming out and hung up the phone. I walk up the steps and sat down at the top of them and though I have to die I cannot go on and put the gun in my mouth took the gun of safety had my finger on the trickier. I keep telling my self to do it. But then I keep thinking I have to live.